If you have been away from Mass for a while, you are very welcome at St John Payne.
You may have been away for a few weeks, a few years, or most of your life. You may feel nervous. You may not know what to do. You may wonder whether you still belong.
You do.
You do not need to have everything sorted out before you come through the door. You can sit quietly. You can pray. You can listen. You can speak to Fr Alex afterwards if you wish.
Coming back to Mass is a good first step.
A simple way to begin
Come to Mass
You do not need permission to come to Mass. Sit wherever you feel comfortable and join in as much or as little as you can.
Take your time
If you have forgotten the responses, or are not sure when to sit, stand or kneel, please do not worry. Many people feel unsure when they first come back.
Speak privately if you wish
If you are not sure what to do next, you can speak to Fr Alex after Mass or contact the parish office. You do not need to have the right words ready.
Can I just come to Mass?
Yes. You are very welcome.
You do not need to explain yourself at the door. You do not need to feel confident. You do not need to know everything before you come.
The important thing is that you are here.
Can I receive Holy Communion?
This is an important question.
Holy Communion is not simply a symbol or a reminder. The Church teaches that, in the Eucharist, Christ Himself is truly present: His Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity.
Because of this, Catholics receive Holy Communion when they are properly prepared and in a state of grace.
If you are a Catholic, are properly prepared, and are not conscious of grave sin, you may receive Holy Communion.
If you have deliberately missed Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation without a serious reason, you should go to Confession before receiving Holy Communion again. The same applies if you are conscious of another serious sin.
This is not meant to keep you away. Confession is the ordinary way Catholics return to the sacraments when something serious has come between them and God.
If you are not sure what to do, please do not panic. Come to Mass. Pray with us. You can remain in your place during Communion. Many people do this for many reasons, including because they are not Catholic, have not yet been to Confession, or have eaten too recently before Mass.
Then speak to Fr Alex privately, or come to Confession. He will help you take the next step.
What counts as a serious reason for missing Mass?
The Church does not ask the impossible.
Illness, caring for someone who needs you, dangerous weather, lack of transport, unavoidable work, or another serious difficulty may mean you cannot get to Mass.
But if you freely chose to miss Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation without a serious reason, you should go to Confession before receiving Holy Communion.
If you are not sure whether an upcoming day is a Holy Day of Obligation, please check the parish newsletter or ask the priest.
I have not been to Confession for years
That is very common. Please do not let it stop you.
Some people come back to Confession after ten, twenty, fifty or even sixty years. The priest will not be shocked. He will be glad you are there.
You can simply say:
Father, it has been a long time since my last Confession, and I’m not sure what to do.
He will guide you.
You do not need to remember every prayer or get every word exactly right. Confession is a sacrament of mercy.
If you are nervous, you can also ask to speak to Fr Alex before going to Confession. He will understand.
If your situation feels complicated
Many people’s lives are complicated.
You may be carrying grief, shame, anger, addiction, family wounds, doubts, or things you have never spoken about. You may feel that you have been away too long, done too much, or failed too often.
Please do not assume that you cannot come back.
The Church is not asking you to pretend that everything is simple. She is inviting you to take the next step towards Christ.
If you are unsure what that step should be, speak to Fr Alex. He will help you.
I have had a civil divorce. Can I come back?
Yes. A civil divorce does not, by itself, stop you coming to Mass.
If you are divorced and have not remarried, you may be able to return to Confession and Holy Communion in the usual way.
If you have remarried, or if you are living in a new relationship, please speak to Fr Alex privately. He will not be shocked. He will help you understand your situation and what steps may be possible.
You are not being turned away. The Church wants to help you live close to Christ and His sacraments.
I married outside the Catholic Church
If you are Catholic and were married outside the Catholic Church, your marriage situation may need to be looked at.
Many people did not know this at the time. Some were married in a register office, in another Christian church, abroad, or in another setting without realising that the Church has particular requirements for Catholics.
Please do not assume that nothing can be done. Speak to Fr Alex. Many situations can be resolved, but they need to be handled properly.
I am not sure I believe everything the Church teaches
You are still welcome to come to Mass.
Many people return to church with questions. Some are unsure about parts of Catholic teaching. Some believe, but feel hurt, confused or distant from the Church. Some want to believe, but do not know where to begin.
Honest questions are not a reason to stay away.
Come and pray. Listen to the Scriptures. Let God work in your life. If something is troubling you, speak to Fr Alex.
If you are unsure whether you should receive Holy Communion, ask privately. You will not be judged for asking.
I have done something serious and I am afraid I cannot be forgive
Please do not assume that.
There is no sin greater than God’s mercy when a person turns back to Him with a repentant heart.
If something serious is weighing on your conscience, speak to Fr Alex or come to Confession. The priest has heard many confessions. He is there to help you receive God’s mercy, not to shame you.
I was baptised Catholic but never made my First Holy Communion
You are very welcome at Mass.
If you were baptised Catholic but never made your First Holy Communion, please do not receive Communion straight away. Speak to Fr Alex. He will help you prepare properly.
The same applies if you were never confirmed. Confirmation can be arranged after suitable preparation.
I am not Catholic. Can I still come?
Yes. You are very welcome at Mass.
If you are not Catholic, or if you are not baptised, you should not receive Holy Communion. But you are very welcome to come, pray, listen and find out more.
If you are interested in becoming Catholic, or simply want to ask questions, please speak to Fr Alex or contact the parish.
What should I do first?
You could begin very simply.
Come to Mass. Sit wherever you feel comfortable. Join in as much or as little as you can. Do not worry if you have forgotten the responses or feel unsure when to sit, stand or kneel.
If you need to go to Confession, check the parish Confession times on the front page of this website or in the newsletter, or contact the parish.
If you are unsure about your situation, you can say:
Father, I’ve been away from the Church and I’d like to come back. What should I do?
That is enough.
You are welcome home
God has not forgotten you.
The Church is not a place for people who have never failed. It is the place where Christ meets us, forgives us, feeds us and brings us home.
If you are thinking of coming back, we would be very glad to see you.
St John Payne, pray for us.